


An Insufficient Man

by JollyCat



Series: Paper Games [5]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4946404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JollyCat/pseuds/JollyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is left alone in the house he's shared with Sean. How did they get to this point and what happens next?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Insufficient Man

**Tuesday**

Sean has gone.

Nick sits on the floor, smashed glass and splintered wood around him. He's holding a drawer in his lap, thrown from the dresser by the impact. At first glance the contents look like those random objects that can't quite be thrown away, shoved in a drawer until some future clear out, but Nick knows better. There is a book on political theory, unread and with a clean knife cut right through the middle of it, copies of Portland Police Department forms with their names signed at the bottom. There is a page in his handwriting, torn from his notebook.

But none of it matters if Sean has gone.

 

**Monday, one day before.**

The restaurant is expensive, the food good and the company, well, Sean Renard is still not entirely sure what to make of the company. He's known these three men a while now and he registers them as slightly more important to him than he once did. This is not in any personal way but because maybe, just maybe, they all have a similar ambition.

Joe Chaplin is the strategy man, the man with the ears of those already in power, the man who understands what it takes to make it in politics. He's never been interested in running himself, knows his true talent is as kingmaker. At the moment he's talking through what will happen the next day - Sean is going to announce the creation of a new task force at a PPD press conference and will then be giving an extended interview for a local current affairs show. Chaplin knows exactly how to use events like this to build Sean's profile in the public eye, it's one of the opening shots in a campaign that is not quite official yet. He's going through the points now, how to arrive, what to say, how to say it, the media, how to leave and who with.

Sean Renard is a man of many secrets and he had thought they would be a barrier to any political ambitions. Oddly, the thing which he never wanted to conceal and in fact disclosed as soon as possible has been the thing which largely overcame this problem: Nick.

The assumption is made that his relationship with Nick was Sean's secret, the reason he concealed his life from colleagues and acquaintances. Sean is half what most humans would see as a monster, half the bastard son of a dead king, he has murdered and concealed murder. He finds it mildly amusing that Joe Chaplin thinks he was actually covering up the fact he lives with and loves another man. Nevertheless Sean is still not very comfortable with his private life being on display and Chaplin is pushing again for photo opportunities,

"No, Nick does not come to the television station with me, or sit in the audience. We do not stage pictures of Nick and I at the gym or sharing a meal. I have already made myself clear about my limits on this - is that understood?"

He puts rather more force into his words than he'd intended, Chaplin bows his head in acknowledgement.

Sean drives home, feels a pang of disappointment when he pulls up to the darkened house, wonders where Nick is. They are in the middle of a Portland heatwave and even this late in the evening it's still hot. Sean turns on lights, takes off his jacket and tie, gets a cold beer. He feels ... restless, as though his woge, normally so controlled, is right under the surface. He's been feeling this a lot lately, he doesn't know if it's because he's contemplating making such a big change - the police, the precinct has been the central point of his life for so long and he knows the moment at which he will have to commit one way or another is close. He wanders the house, looks out at the night, sees his face ripple in the reflection in the glass.

The sound of the key in the door brings Sean out of his reverie and he goes to meet Nick. He looks exhausted - pale with dark circles round his eyes. They are having a tough time at work: Portland is restless too and the heat wave isn't helping. There seem to be a lot of new Wesen, including vicious types that none of them have seen before. Monroe, Rosalee, Wu, Hank, Sean himself, not to mention the Wesen community in Portland who give them their support, they are all helping. In the end though Nick is just one Grimm. He's standing in the hallway as though he hasn't got the energy to make it further.

Sean wraps Nick in his arms and Nick leans into the embrace, Sean feels his own agitation disappear. Whatever else is happening, when they are together like this everything is better.

"Looks like it's been a long night. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

Nick shakes his head against Sean's chest,

"Just take me to bed, Sean."

Sean takes Nick quite literally at his word - he picks Nick up and carries him up the stairs, takes him into the bedroom. He undresses Nick, stroking his hand across the new bruises, undresses himself, slides into bed next to Nick. He's quite prepared just to hold Nick and watch him sleep but Nick wants - needs - more.

Sean kisses his way down Nick's un-bruised side, strokes and caresses. Hard bodies, warm depths, the familiarity between them, the months they've been together has only made this better. Sean tells Nick he loves him and Nick replies sleepily, is asleep before Sean has even moved apart from him. Sean puts an arm around him and watches over him while he sleeps.

 

**Tuesday.**

Nick watches the press conference, the announcement of the new task force, from the precinct. Sean had seemed a little off again this morning, jumpy, looked like he nearly woged at one point (which he never does without meaning to) but he looks fine now, coming across clearly and making the new task force sound good. There is actually quite a lot of excitement about the initiative amongst his fellow detectives - even Hank has been quite upbeat.

Nick has noticed a change in Sean's, he guesses you'd call it management style recently. Sean has always supported and encouraged the men and women under his command but - with one memorable exception - he never used to be much for the inspirational speeches, personal appeal. Nick doesn't know if it's changed slightly because of all this stuff about running for office, because Sean has a security in his life he's never had before or because of something else entirely. It doesn't seem a bad thing though, morale in the department is high even despite the onslaught of crime they've faced lately, all the long hours and extra shifts.

The press conference over, Nick turns back to work. Nick does not believe that this wave of crime is chance - there is someone or something behind this - and he and Hank are determined to find a link, a contact they are sure is there. They get called out to a homicide in the afternoon - a gas station attendant murdered in what seems to be a robbery - but then return to the precinct, work late. Nick knows Sean has this tv thing tonight, maybe they'll watch it together later, hopes it's going well.

The television recording does go well, very well and Sean - despite Joe Chaplin's coaching - is slightly unprepared for the attention immediately afterwards from both the audience and the press. He blames this at first for just how odd he feels as he drives home: hot, restless, woge rippling. He hasn't felt like this since...a sudden thought grips him, no, no it can't be.

                                                               ***

"I think I've got something."

Nick looks up at Hank's voice, "You do?"

"Yeah, come look at this. You remember that old ranch that got taken over by that nut job group? We got a call out there about a month ago, they called themselves the Children of Nature or something?"

"Yeah, I remember it - we didn't find anything though."

"I think I've found something now."

 

Nick feels pumped up on the way home - they've dug further and he's sure they have made a breakthrough. He also hears a sound bite of Sean, top story on the local news. Way to go, man. He's therefore surprised when he pulls up to the house - Sean's car is parked at an odd angle outside and there are no lights on.

"Sean? You home?"

He walks through to the kitchen, goes to turn on the light but before his hand even reaches the switch Sean is on him. There are a few seconds when he's not sure if Sean is trying to kiss him or fight him and he's still not sure when Sean pushes him round and against the counter so hard the breath is forced out of him.

"Sean, that really hurt. What the hell is up with you?"

In the dim half light he sees Sean give that familiar Wesen head shake and woge. There's something different though, something not right. Nick knows Sean's woged face nearly as well as his human one and that isn't quite it. Sean comes at him fast and all Nick's Grimm instincts kick in, he punches Sean hard, sends him flying back into the dresser, which rocks and then tilts forward, sending its contents crashing to the floor. Sean is straight back on his feet and Nick is in a fighting stance, ready for him but Sean doesn't come at him again, he stands, a dark figure framed against the window.

"I can't be with you Nick, I have to leave."

And with that he's gone, out past Nick with superhuman speed, the door slamming hard. Nick runs to the door, wrenches it open but the car is already screeching round the corner. Sean has gone.

 

**Wednesday**

Nick calls Sean every hour on every number he has - Sean's work cell, his personal one, even the burner phone that Sean keeps for making calls he doesn't want traced. There is no answer. Finally at 5am he calls Monroe and Rosalee.

 

"So he woged but he looked different and he was out of control?"

"Yeah, I couldn't see him clearly but there was something..."

Rosalee leans forward, takes Nick's hand.

"You said he's seemed a little 'off' the last couple of weeks. In what way."

"He's been restless, hot, he's nearly woged quite a few times - and you know he never does that unless he means to -"

"Except that one time when you got him so - " Monroe catches the expression on Rosalee's face, "Guess not the right time for that story. What else?"

"Ah, he hasn't been sleeping much, and this might sound stupid but he's been really hungry all the time. What do you think is up with him?"

Monroe and Rosalee share a glance. Monroe pulls a face,

"If he was _twelve_ I'd know exactly what was wrong with him but at forty-whatever he is..."

"So what would he have if he was twelve?"

Rosalee shrugs,

"First woge. It usually happens around twelve, thirteen and in the weeks leading up to it children often get these kind of symptoms - the restlessness, the kind of pre-woge thing, even the sleeplessness and appetite changes. The physical changes and hormonal responses are huge for that first woge so I guess it makes sense. For most children it's just a minor thing but sometimes it can really be a problem."

"But how can Sean be getting that now? He woged for the first time when he was eleven, he told me."

"I don't know. I don't even know if that's what the problem is. We need to look at the books, do some research. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

"None - if I did I'd be there."

Nick phones Sean in sick - apart from when he was shot Nick doesn't think Sean's had a sick day in his life but he can't come up with anything better and he supposes it's the truth. Nick goes into the precinct himself, rings Sean every hour but otherwise tries to focus on work. He's tempted to put an APB out on Sean's car, get the full force of the Portland Police Department tracking him. He only holds off because he doesn't know what Sean will do to whoever finds him.

Everyone is investigating the Children of Nature and their ranch. It had seemed like one of those oddball groups - half new religion, half survivalist - that occasionally make it to Oregon. Now they've found one link to the recent crime wave though, the connections are coming in thick and fast.

By the end of the day the investigation is moving at such a pace that Nick gets an awkward phone call asking if Sean will be fit enough to be in tomorrow. He can't answer yes and a little later the news starts to spread that they will be bringing Captain Iveson across from North Precinct to run the case. O'Dowd and Andersson are sent out to the ranch with a pretext for a visit. Given that there's a strong possibility there are Wesen involved Nick and Hank would have normally got the call - but of course it's not Sean in command today.

 

**Thursday**

There is still no news from Sean, Nick has rung and rung. Through the night he has checked police reports from across Oregon, into Washington and Idaho, he has checked hospital admittances and even got the last known number for Elizabeth Lascelles from Wu and rung that. Nothing.

Nick and Hank - and what feels like most of the able bodied officers in the Portland PD - are on buses headed out to the ranch. They are wearing bullet proof vests and carrying riot shields and helmets. This is going to be a full scale assault. O'Dowd and Andersson never came back from the ranch and Captain Iveson seems to have taken this as a declaration of war. This is not the way Sean would have played it, thinks Nick, and he would have had a better idea of what they were facing.

There is some attempt at negotiation but Nick is one of the ground troops and they don't get told what is happening. They stand around in full kit in the heat, wait for some signal. The signal, when it comes, is Andersson's dead body, thrown out in front of them.

This isn't a police operation, this is a battle and increasingly it's a battle for survival. There are Wesen here, lots of Wesen, and even if they're not showing their faces fully to the humans they have strength and speed on their side. The police troops are more numerous but they are more than matched by the Children of Nature. Without a coherent strategy the officers are getting divided up, drawn into individual fights they can't win.

The leader of the Children of Nature is a huge blond man, rallying his troops, pushing them in wave after wave against them. Nick has tried to work his way towards him, thinking that if maybe he can get to him the Children will fall apart but it's no good - Nick is fighting using his Grimm strength, no longer caring if anyone wonders at it, and he's making no progress, is just desperate to keep himself and Hank safe.

Nick gets hit in the back by one of the Children so hard that he overbalances, goes down, Hank pulls him to his feet and it's as he swings around that Nick sees...

Sees Sean, towering above the men around him, in full body armour, riot shield held up, shouting orders. The police troops start to rally round him, start to form a cohesive force, the shields locking together. Sean is the spearhead now of a line of black clad officers, more forming up, individual fights becoming a single offensive, Hank and Nick falling into place alongside the others. 

The Children of Nature start to fall back, the blond leader roaring at them. He and Sean are only about ten feet apart now and he sees the source of this new defiance. The giant launches himself at Sean with more than human speed, woged fanged face visible to all. Sean takes a step forward, accepting the challenge. There is a second, a micro second, where the world falls still, the two big more-than-men almost seem to embrace - and then the blond giant, the leader of the Children of Nature falls back, dead on the ground in front of Sean.

After that it's just tidying. The Children of Nature are rounded up into police vans, the injured into ambulances, the dead into morgue vans. Nick finds Sean looking at Andersson's body, the first casualty, he stands back a moment whilst Sean pays his respects, looks at Sean as he does so. Sean doesn't look any different, the same man that he knows and loves and yet...

Nick once had an image, just for a moment, of Sean as King. Not a modern day King, opening flower shows and promoting trade agreements, but a medieval King, crowned and with sword in hand. Sean is wearing a bullet proof vest, gun on his shoulder and his helmet on the floor next to him, nevertheless Nick is reminded of that moment.

Sean turns to him. They never touch at work, have always been careful to stay entirely professional in front of colleagues but now Sean holds out his arms to him and Nick moves into them.

 *****

Sean is sent home and Nick goes with him, only marginally surprised to find Elizabeth, Sean's mother already there. He hasn't seen Elizabeth since before Juliette died so seeing her again - well, he's thought of lots of things he wanted to say to her but given just how much water has gone under the bridge (not least that he's now sleeping with her son) he decides that he will just greet her politely. The house has been tidied, presumably by her, the dresser upright and the contents away.

Elizabeth and Sean sit on the couch, Nick opposite them. As no one seems to want to kick things off, Nick finally says,

"So what the hell happened? Tuesday you were a wreck, Thursday you're a hero."

"I'm sorry Nick, I shouldn't have just run like that but when I realised what was happening I was afraid I'd hurt you."

"But what did happen?"

Sean seems, well, embarrassed really. Nick looks questioningly at Elizabeth, she's usually good for a reasonably clinical explanation. Actually if he had to put a name to Elizabeth's facial expression at the moment it would be pride.

"Sean has come into his Royal blood. It doesn't happen often now, the bloodlines are so dilute, but every now and then a man or woman of the Royal line will discover an extra element in themselves, a woge if you like, that they can draw on."

"So you're saying Royals are Wesen? That they woge and Sean can do that too?"

Elizabeth smiles, "The Royals keep many secrets and I only know as much as I do because I was close to Frederick for so long. No one knows if they are true Wesen or not. But those with the Royal blood are leaders, can make men follow them, change the world, for good or ill. Many of them now are not what the humans would call 'Royal' but think of a great leader, a commander and maybe they have the Royal blood. Sean has always had that within him but now he has that power fivefold."

"So, why did it happen now?"

"I suspect...Tell me Nick, how did you become a Grimm?"

"My uh, my Aunt Marie died and the Grimm thing, the power passed to me."

"And isn't that just how it works with Kings? The old one dies and the power passes to the new one. Frederick was not a good King, not in the end, but he did have the Royal blood and the ability to use it. In a different time and place he might have changed the course of history. I suspect that Frederick's death has woken the power in his son."

Nick looks at Sean,

"And so what happened Tuesday?"

"Nick, I didn't have a good first woge, didn't control it well, I was eleven years old and I nearly killed someone. I couldn't place what I was feeling at first but Tuesday was the same - I'm ... sorry."

"So, basically it was adolescent hormones?"

"You could maybe put it that way."

Nick regards Sean thoughtfully,

"Hmm, at the time I thought Aunt Marie realising I'd had a wet dream was the worst thing that could possibly happen, but now I see I was wrong. And you and I are going to have a talk about the use of phones in emergency situations."

He smiles at Sean and then, because Sean still looks a little lost, he stands up and goes to sit by him, tucks himself under Sean's arm, feels Sean relax.

"So what about all this King stuff? Is this what the politics thing is about?"

"I don't know. I'm ..., I'm scared at the idea, of being corrupted by whatever this is. I keep thinking about the Coins of Zakynthos. I don't know if it's safe for me to be a leader in Portland or even in the police department."

"You led us today. I think a lot of us would have died without you. So I guess we have to see what happens - and I'll tell you if you get too big for your crown."

 

**Saturday, 30 days later**

The ceremony turns out to be on a larger scale than Sean expected. He'd imagined something quite small but it turned out a lot of people wanted to be there. There had also been some discussion about the protocols, what role the various key people have in a not-quite-conventional ceremony. In the end Sean and Nick walk in together and stand at the front with Hank, Monroe and Rosalee - Hank and Monroe are officially best men, Rosalee says her job title is 'woman in charge of best men', as both are much more nervous than Sean and Nick.

Sean was suspended for five days after the battle at the ranch (while the powers that be worked out that even though you're not allowed to appear from your sick bed and take over a police operation, they would have had a disaster on their hands if he hadn't). Nick had taken some personal time. They'd rented a cottage by the ocean, spent most of the first day in bed, talked and loved. Sean had woged for Nick to see, they'd talked about his decision to stay in the police. Finally they emerged to watch the sun set. Sean had been waiting for the perfect moment but just as he'd opened his mouth to ask the question, Nick had looked at him and said,

"Sean, I love you. Will you marry me?"

So Sean said "Yes" instead.

The ceremony goes to plan, they say their vows without stumbling, neither Hank nor Monroe loses a ring. Being who they are, there were also some additional worries but no one woges in front of the human judge, the two hexenbiests present (Elizabeth, of course, and Adalind, pregnant for a third time and with a rather stunned looking Martin Meisner in tow) behave themselves, Diana doesn't make anything levitate.

The judge takes the signed marriage license, explains they will get a copy in a few days - another piece of paper for the drawer in the dresser. Sean takes Nick's hand and together they walk out into the sunshine.

*****

_'Welcome, Prince,' said Aslan. 'Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?'_

_'I - I don't think I do, Sir,' said Caspian. 'I am only a kid.'_

_'Good,' said Aslan. 'If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not.'_

_Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis_


End file.
